As I'm approaching my due date, I thought it would be nice to share what we're currently going through as future parents.
1 + 1 = 3?
Our lives as a dynamic duo for the past three years have been nothing short of amazing. In fact, looking back, we can both agree that we've completely changed each other's lives for the better. Even daily mundane routines like grocery shopping are fun when we're in each other's company. From bars to parties, to brunches and vacations... The world is exciting and stimulating for a couple of lovebirds and we always want to do everything together.
We thought 2019 would be the year to celebrate it all by throwing a huge party. In fact, that's what our wedding is supposed to be in September 2019: a big celebration of our love with all our friends & family, all under one roof. How magical would that be?
But nope. The most magical thing happening in 2019 was not going to be our wedding. Little did we know, we were in for a big surprise. Just two days before signing the contract with our venue, we got interrupted by a little plus sign "+" on a pee stick. I remember it like it was yesterday...
HOW WE FOUND OUT
It was a rainy November evening. From Oli's point of view, I walked out of the pharmacy bathroom my face as white as a ghost. "Let's get out of here, I'm totally pregnant" were the words I uttered to him. We both sat in silence in the car. I burst into tears and whipped out the calendar on my phone. "Quiiiiick! Let's calculate when this baby is supposed to pop out!" July 2019. So... Two months. We were supposed to greet a complete new stranger two months prior to the wedding. Ok. No big deal. Do we postpone the wedding? No. If we postpone this wedding, we'll never have a wedding. So it was decided... we were going to have this wedding no matter what.
THE SHOW MUST GO ON
The planning suddenly became too easy... everything that we were picky about just didn't even matter anymore. Which wine paired better with which meal? Which types of flowers would look better with my dress? We didn't care anymore. And to think we were upset because we absolutely wanted Christmas lights at our reception, but the venue told us they take them down after the holidays, and to install them back up would cost us at least a grand. Goodness... Forget those twinkly lights, we couldn't care less anymore!
READY OR NOT, HERE WE GO
We're not gonna lie, this was not a planned pregnancy. It was a shocking, unexpected turn of events. Oli confessed to me that night: "I'm SO not ready for a baby at this time of my life but I know I want it with you." Oh my god... I was so busy worrying about wedding stuff that I forgot to ask myself... Was I even ready? At 16, there's no way I would have been ready, but at 26, it's a completely different story. I looked at him and said: "I'm not ready either but the only thing that reassures me is the fact that I'm having this baby with you."
MORE PROS THAN CONS
Over the next few days, we entertained ourselves with things that I can only interpret as ways to relieve our anxiety:
"How convenient is it that we got engaged just three months prior?" Yeah... otherwise, any proposal after the pregnancy would seem forced to my eyes. Thank goodness he was ready to put a ring on it. 😂
"How convenient is it that we were able to travel so much together and visit each other's families across the ocean?" Not only that but to have our grandparents' approval of us dating... Wow, we're so old-fashioned!
"How convenient is it that we've been able to practice by getting a cat last year?" Seriously, getting a pet is great practice, but it doesn't even come close to taking care of a baby.
THE TURNING POINT
All our worries of incompetency dissipated the moment our doctor made us listen to the baby's heartbeat for the first time. Oli's tears came pouring down. He smiled at me and squeezed my hand tightly. "I love the baby already," he said to me. This was it. This was the boost we both needed to evolve. We gained confidence, and we developed a new sense of purpose.
We spent the holidays saying farewell to 2018 and our immature, innocent, careless selves. We stepped into 2019 with new goals and new projects to pursue. We saw the world anew.
YOU'RE NEVER REALLY READY
Are we ready? Most of our friends have admitted to us that they were nowhere near ready for a baby. "I don't know how you do it," was a common thing we heard. In the last few months, we progressively came to this conclusion: You're never really ready. But we've learned to embrace that. In fact, we're so chill about it that we almost look unphased on the outside. We even threw a Gender Reveal and a Baby Shower like we knew what we were doing. To sum things up, we successfully fooled our brains into thinking that we were ready.
A FULL-TIME THIRD-WHEELER
I'm 35 weeks pregnant as I type these very words, and still, I can say with certainty that we're not fully ready. It's a bittersweet thing because we know that soon, we're gonna have a little human third-wheeling us... ALL. THE. TIME.
One night, Oli said to me: "Mel, I'm scared that you'll end up loving the baby more than you love me." I retorted back: "Look at the way you're behaving with the cat that you never wanted... You cuddle with her every night! You're the one who's going to end up loving the baby more than you love me."
LOVE PREVAILS
It's kind of cute how we're worrying for nothing. Truth be told, I think that the love we give can only expand with time... It doesn't need to be cut into pieces and separated.
Even if we're not ready...
... we're definitely ready to love this baby.
Baby Jeremy with the hiccups at 11 weeks & 5 days: